Historically, humans have always been “unfaithful.” However, the idea of unfaithful vs faithful is a religious myth, designed to help ensure paternity. The myth of the unfaithful pressures the emotional centers of the brain, and makes us feel ashamed, guilty, afraid of our sexuality.
There is also substantial evidence that men are pre-disposed to question paternity. Paternal uncertainty has existed since the beginning of time. It’s only now, through genetic testing, that we are able to finally put to rest the issue of who’s your baby’s daddy.
I was speaking with a friend. He’s been married for years, has several kids, but only recently realized that he may not be one of his baby’s daddy. Basically, he’s been cuckolded for 25 years.
From a woman’s genetic perspective, it makes perfect sense to find ONE good dad to take care of the kids and father them well, but to get her eggs fertilized by MANY men.
Male sperm understand this. They have evolved to block, and even kill other sperm. This suggests that sperm evolved to fight it out in the vagina – with other men’s sperm. It’s in a woman’s interest to let the best sperm win.
Perhaps, from a genetic perspective, a woman’s motto should be, fuck them all, let the sperm fight it out.
The paradox is this; the very thing that we most want – deep love, profound intimacy, safety and emotional connection – are the very breeding ground of infidelity. When we are secure in ourselves, we are by definition expressing more confidence, ease, inner peace. These are the very attractive traits.
That’s right, sperm kills – other sperm.
And really, I wonder about infidelity. Men, who get all the blame – are not out there fucking chickens. They are fucking women. So that mean, for every man who “cheats” there is a willing woman.
Without social stigma attached like a cancer to female sexuality, we might be very surprised to discover that women and men are equally sexually adventurous – which has been my experience. Women “cheat” but for their personal safety and the safety of their reputation, they call it other things.
We continue to be attracted to the myth of monogamy. We continue to believe that the relationship auditors in the sky watch our every move and determine our relationship results.
Why do we support monogamy like religious robots, parroting words, shame, recrimination and judgement when people “stray”.