Science has Thwarted God, Jesus, & the Pope’s Plans to Wipe Out the Homos & Africans

  • December 18, 2010

I have to say, even the skeptic that I am has to give praise where praise is due. I say: praise Jesus. A miracle has happened.

There is official evidence that the first person has been cured of AIDS. Jesus is a miracle worker,

and no doubt it is Jesus’ compassion that has created such a miracle. There is hope on the horizon for some 33 million people world wide suffering from HIV and AIDS.

This really is something to give thanks and praises for this holiday season. You see, all of our fanatical religious suppression of stem cell research in America has finally paid off. The “Berlin patient” has been healed by Jesus.

I’m afraid I have to retract my radical statements from earlier blogs talking about the idiocy of religious fanaticism. I now see the wisdom of slowing down scientific progress. It all makes sense now that this man has been healed, by Jesus, of AIDS – even though, no doubt, the Berlin Patient is gay.

I guess this way he can be healed here so he can suffer in hell later, or maybe it’s giving him more time to live so he can be converted back to godly-hetero-get-into-heaven-sexuality in time to be saved. Hey, whatever the reason, it’s all good.

Jesus is good. Ignorance pays off. Suppression of knowledge, sexuality and science clearly has its virtues.

After all, religion and conservative values are keeping America safe from the future of science.

So, I take back everything derogatory that I’ve ever said.

Oh, wait. It wasn’t faith and Jesus who saved the Berlin Patient, it was doctors, researchers, advanced science, and radical medical breakthroughs that healed him. Oh yeah, and those pesky stem cells.

My bad. I guess science has actually thwarted God, Jesus, and the pope’s plans to wipe out the homos and Africans.

Of course, there’s still a lot of technology to be perfected, and issues of delivering stem cell therapy to patients safely have to be worked out, as well as studying long term effectiveness of treatment – so there’s still time to kill em off.

Maybe the conservo-religious-intolerant-holy-right are correct after all; if we want to be healed of life threatening illnesses, or just have our eyesight restored, we just need faith and good strong morals. And about 10000 dollars for cutting edge stem cell therapy, plus air fair.

Oh, yeah, and a passport.