I just finished shooting/directing a DVD on the subject of energetic-sex mastery. So this week, I thought it would be cool to share some insights on the subject.
Firstly, what is energetic sexuality, or energy-sex?
I sometimes call energy-sex hands off, clothes on sex. We can conceptualize energy-sex as that which happens when we find ourselves magnetically attracted to somebody for no apparent conscious reason. Whatever that feeling in the body is – that pull – that “energy”, that’s what we are talking about. It’s as if, for a moment, the entire world disappears and we are engulfed in the desire to deeply connect with another human being.
In essence, when there is a full connection, something that happens in the brain and body that feels really good, relaxing, fun, and exciting.
These feelings move us beyond our normal, daily, waking awareness, into another level of awareness deep inside.
It can include the awareness of sensations moving through our bodies, perhaps in a tingling, a vibrating, or a sense of deep relaxation. Through exploring energetic sexuality, we are becoming consciously aware of those “extra” sensations.
For me, energetic sexuality it is the shifting of the focus of attention from the small point – the clit or the pea-sized spot at the underside of the head of the cock – to the entire body, and at times, even beyond the body.
It’s the move from the localized sensation to the global-body pleasure sensing.
Now whether you believe in “energy” or not is irrelevant. In my thinking, energy is a metaphorical description of our inner sensory experiences. Its a way to describe these unusual, often extraordinary feelings.
For example, something is happening when we eye-gaze with another person. Something is happening when we sync our breathing together. Something is happening when we deeply connect, open, and allow ourselves to be vulnerable with another.
We can think of energy-sex as adding additional layers of sexual understanding and intelligence.
Whatever is happening during these experiences, it generally feels really good. So, for me, energetic sexuality is about expanding our understanding and definitions of pleasure.
Legend says, Inuit peoples have 17 different distinctions to describe snow. It’s not true, but it sounds cool. We however, have just a few words for sex – and most of them are considered “bad” words.
Energy-sex is about creating awareness of other ways of relating to our partners and getting out of our patterned, familiar, non-conscious sex.
What I mean is that, because we are literally switching areas of dominant brain function during sex to more primal, non-linguistic parts of the brain, it’s very common that these primal parts of our brains are stunted at some very early developmental age.
This is what I regard as our early imprinting regarding sexuality.
For most people, we get quiet, we don’t breath, we can’t talk, or make any kind of noise while playing out our unconscious sex patterns. When it comes to this kind of sex, we find places within ourselves where we are afraid of judgement, rejection, shame, and fear. It’s like we’re 15 again, hoping to be accepted by the cool kids in high school. Instead of being accepted, we just feel awkward.
We figure out something that “works”, that impresses the cool kids, and we do that same sexual routine, over and over, well into adulthood and beyond.
I’ve met people, who in their 60’s haven’t progressed much beyond their initial sexual imprinting experiences.
Sadly, for many people, sex is an awkward teenage imprint that they seldom move beyond.
But to truly open wider and wider to our pleasure, we have to be willing to move into the territories of the unknown, uncomfortable, even unbelievable, and energy sex is one such area for further exploration and discovery.
I’m a scientific guy, but I love to trip into erotic states of bliss, and oceans of ecstasy with my lovers.
So if you are with me on this, please feel free to ask questions. I want to continue to open this doorways and discussions about energetic-sexuality, so that we can continue to open our minds to the possibilities of expanding our pleasure beyond our limitations.