As the New Year approaches, I find myself feeling reflective. I thought I would share a list of a few things that I wish I learned - as a teenager - in sex-ed. Feel free to share and add on to the list.
Firstly, women and men are very much alike - and divisions of sexes are more mythological and cultural - especially when it comes to sex.
Sex runs the show. More than violence or any other crazy thing that we might see in films, TV, and on the news, sex, pleasure and the drive for freedom are the underlying motivations of much human behavior.
The sensations that we feel in our bodies are normal and natural. Welcome them.
When it comes to pleasure, stay open in body and mind, and always practice safer sex.
Religion has framed the body as a scourge upon enlightenment. It is not.
Erections are beautiful, attractive things. Whether it’s pussy lips, nipples, clits, lips, or cocks - erections are erotic. Other people love to see them.
Our brains are the most beautiful, important sex organs we have. Great sex occurs in our brains. Love your brain!
Self pleasure is natural, necessary, and normal. In fact it is essential to full sexual development. If we don’t understand our own bodies, how can we expect others to magically understand them?
Porn is a wonderful thing. Through viewing porn and reading porn, we can clearly see there are many, many, many different tastes in the world. Humans love sex - and our porn is a reflection of our endless tastes and appetites.
Human beings can sexualize pretty much anything.
Learn to cultivate sexual energy. What I mean is, it is essential to learn to elongate and expand our orgasms so that we can extend and expand pleasure for ourselves and our partners.
Though our own pleasure is important, it's also necessary to share in our pleasure with other human beings. It feels wonderful to connect and share our vulnerable in this way.
One way or another, we are responsible for any life we bring into the world. Therefore, it makes sense to bring life in with choice and intention - not by force, coercion or threats of religious retribution.
There is no Santa Clause. Nobody is watching our sexual behavior. Nobody give a hoot whether we are naughty or nice - so lighten up and have some fun. Santa is a myth.
Lastly, contrary to most everything that religion, spiritual traditions and “conservative values” say - sex is good.
Have a Happy New Year!