I’ve had a very busy month as far as PSLS (personal sexual liberation sessions) go. This week I did some work with a young woman who was suffering from childhood sexual trauma.
Here’s what happened. I noticed that of the three sexual abusers she had in her past, they all had one thing in common: they were all religious, church going boys and men. The sexual incursions into her physical, emotional, and mental space we done by “nice” people.
In one case, my client was being molested, and then taken to church by the molester. Her eyes were wide as she spoke to me about the craziness of getting molested and then going to church to hear a sermon by a sex damning priest.
So much of what I have come to understand about religion has to do with personal observation. It doesn’t matter where I go in the world - religion and spirituality are obsessed with suppression of sexuality.
For me, the issue is that religion hides the truth about human sexuality, by convincing men and women that sex is essentially impure, and must be overcome. How it is to be overcome depends on the spiritual path. Today, for example, I had tea with a very sensual woman in her 40’s who announced to me that her spiritual teacher implored her to take a 2 year vow of celibacy.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because he thinks it will be good for me to experience myself beyond my sexuality,” she said.
Perhaps it’s just me, but this sounds like a female hating asshole who can’t just come out and say, “I really want to fuck you.” Instead he makes up some bullshit to make her feel ashamed of her sublime sexual spunkiness - and encourage her to “transcend it.”
Sex is not to be transcended nor overcome. The suppression of this primary impulse only leads to unconscious expressions that tend to be less empowering to both ourselves, and the people around us.
Because religion promotes sexual suppression, we don’t have cultural permission to express our true sexual selves. By being forced to live up to impossible ideals, we always feel guilt, fear, blame, and shame when it comes to our bodies.
The reality is, suppression of sex and pleasure makes people feel depressed, sad, lonely. It can also makes them act out in destructive ways.
Personally, I think we’ve had enough of that for two centuries. If suppression and repression really worked, we would have a planet of enlightened beings some 2000 years ago when the whole Jesus movement began.
For me, 2000 years is more than enough time to see if a theory works. Sexual suppression isn’t working. I think it’s time for religion to wake up, and smell its own ass instead of everybody elses.
Furthermore, by now we should have learned that we have to protect our children, and adults for that matter, from “nice” people, gurus and teachers, who pretend they have transcended sex. They haven’t.